I do not talk about the difficulties in my life publicly. Life is a test, and I am sure everyone reading this has their own trials and difficulties. The past five years, especially, have seen us all afflicted with global trials that have hit the world one after another, and sometimes multiple at the same time. While we all collectively deal with these trials, many of us have been dealing with personal trials as well. I will not mention specifically what I have been through over the past few years, but want to reflect on some important life lessons I learned through all this.
The period of 1440 to 1446 Hijri, (coinciding with 2019-2024 CE) has been a time of intense difficulty for me. There were times during this period in which I felt hopeless, fearful, depressed, cowardly, and even close to death. Living through the pandemic/lockdown, while dealing with the riots in South Africa in 2021, and the floods here over the next few years, as well as the deaths of multiple relatives, was difficult enough. But at the same time, I had to deal with two major personal trials that shaped and defined this period of my life.
Miraculously, one trial ended this past Friday and another on Saturday, like a season finale in which multiple long-term plots were resolved in almost miraculous fashion. Today is my first work day free from these trials, and I sit alone at 5am in peace and gratitude typing this and reflecting over this intense and difficult period of my life. The strange thing is that even though the past six years were extremely difficult and I prayed for ease many times, I am also grateful for this period of my life because it has shaped me and changed me positively in ways that would not have been possible otherwise.
Finding My Courage
Perhaps the one thing I am most grateful for during this period is finding my courage and evolving into a braver version of myself. In 2021, I faced a trial that required courage and I remember feeling a deep sense of fear and cowardice overwhelm me. I recall my neighbors arming themselves to defend our neighborhood, and I felt a deep sense of cowardice and did the bare minimum to keep my family safe. I felt terrible after that for years and determined to never allow fear or cowardice to hold me back from doing the right thing ever again. I spent a lot of time over the next few years working on building my courage and ability to face scary and difficult situations without fear.
In 2024, multiple scenarios forced me to level up. I did things this year that I did not know I was capable of. I found myself facing my trials head-on and even facing danger head-on. I realized a few weeks ago that I am no longer the same person who was so fearful just three years ago. As I stood guard over a van in a dangerous street giving a man my word that I will protect his workers while they were making a delivery there I felt alive, and I felt at peace that I had finally overcome my cowardice in the face of danger and evolved into a better version of myself.
Learning to Work Under Intense Pressure
I never complained publicly about my trials, as this is not the Islamic way. As Prophet Yaqub (AS) teaches us, “I complain of my anguish and sorrow only to Allah” (Qur’an 12:86) Despite my trials, I continued to focus on my work and during these past few years I was able to produce some of my most important work including the History of Islam online course, and 25 Keys to a Happy Life. I learned during this period that no matter what is going on in the world, I must remain focused on serving Allah, building my Afterlife, and producing work that benefits the ummah.
I recall a strange and terrifying afternoon during 2021. It was the middle of the covid lockdown, multiple relatives of mine had just passed away, and I could hear helicopters, gunshots and screaming as riots raged near my neighborhood. Unable to do anything about any of the above, I sat down to homeschool my children, teach my history classes, and write my books. It was in that moment I realized that no matter how crazy the world gets, life goes on and we must remain focused on what is in our control.
Channeling My Patience into Productivity
Ramadan 1444 (early 2023) was one of the most difficult periods of my life. I recall starting that Ramadan in survival mode, barely able to concentrate or think. I told myself this Ramadan I will just focus on personal worship and getting through my trials. Despite this, with Allah’s Help and Guidance, on the 27th of Ramadan 1444 I completed the first draft of 25 Keys to a Happy Life which I started writing on the first of Ramadan that year.
In 25 days I had completed writing one of the most important books I ever wrote to myself. This book started as notes to myself to fix my mindset and elevate my thinking during this difficult period of my life. Alhamdulillah, it is now available to the public and I pray that it will help others to experience happiness and inner peace no matter how difficult life gets. I learned to channel my resolve into productively producing works that benefit myself and the ummah, and I am grateful to Allah for the opportunity to do this.
Similarly, in early 1445, I realized that all I could do about my trials at that point was be patient and await the help of Allah. Instead of wasting my time in sorrow and self-pity, I channeled my patience into producing more work to benefit the ummah. It was during this period that I produced my online course on the Shariah which has benefited hundreds of students. Looking back, I am grateful to Allah for giving me this period of time to focus on these works, and guiding me to produce them. I ask Allah to make these beneficial for the ummah.
Bonding with my family
Perhaps the greatest blessing that came out of this trial is that it has been a source of bonding for my family. My relationships with my family members, both close and extended, are stronger than ever, Alhamdulillah. I realized that hardships come either tear families apart or bring them together, depending on how we face them and deal with them. I learned an important lesson in facing the trials of life as a united front and growing closer together through every trial.
During these past few years, a lot of my research has focused on reviving the Islamic family structure and helping others find strength, love, and unity in family too. During these years, I launched Izzah Academy, and through it a marriage and parenting course. My work in my community has become heavily focused on teaching people the importance of traditional living, having large united families, and developing a strong family culture.
The family is the primary power base and source of support of any individual. We must resist the modern trends of individualism in which family is disappearing and losing its value. Prophet Lut (AS) refers to families and tribes as strong supports, and wished to have one. “If only I had the strength ˹to resist you˺ or could rely on a strong support.” (Qur’an 11:80) As we face a new generation of the same evil he faced, we must protect ourselves through developing this strong support.
Realizing my true potential
Alhamdulillah, I am a very different person today than I was six years ago. Gone is the cowardice, self-doubt, fear, awkwardness, anxiety and self-consciousness. I may have lost my youth and gained some grey hairs during this period of life, but I also levelled up and am capable of a lot more today than I was a few years ago. Through these trials, I learned to face my fears, take action, trust Allah’s plan, be patient, resilient, strong, brave, and focused. I found my courage and let go of my fear of death. I am a different person today, I feel it in every aspect of my life, and I am grateful to Allah for everything that helped me grow into a better version of myself.
As Muslims, we should never pray for trials and hardship. We should ask Allah for ease and pray for good things. But trials are a necessary part of life and we all will face periods of trial, some more intense than others. The trials of life serve many purposes, one of the most important is to help us dig deep, discover our true potential, and grow into better versions of ourselves. We may struggle and make mistakes along the way, but as long as we remain focused on obeying Allah, doing the right things, and doing what is within our control, our trials will be a source of blessings for us in the long run.
We ask Allah to accept our efforts, utilize us to serve the religion, and to grant us the best of both worlds. Ameen.
