The obstacles in the way of your goal that you were not expecting

obstacles in the way of your goal

The obstacles in the way of your goal that you were not expecting

Life is strange. When you set off to achieve a goal, there are obstacles in the way of your goal that you expect. Enemies, jealous rivals, blunders, learning curves, and budget problems to name a few. These are the obstacles we expect.

But then there are obstacles we did not expect. These are the ones that really sweep us off track and leave us winded. They come from the least likely sources, and as a result the impact is much harder. So what are these obstacles in the way of your goal?

1. Your Family

When we think about obstacles, we don’t think about family. Yet in most true stories, there is almost always an obstacle from the family.

Here is an example: Ahmad has an amazing idea for a new business. He shares his idea with his family and expects their full support. To his surprise, the entire family shoots the idea down as too risky, and discourages him from chasing it.

Feeling dejected, Ahmed gives up and doesn’t bother even trying to chase his idea.

What just happened? (Or understanding their perspective)

Your family’s duty is to protect you. Often they view your ideas only through that perspective. Their protective instincts kick in because they love you. They don’t want you to get hurt. So they feel its better to discourage you from grand ideas that could hurt you, even if it also has the potential to be great for you.

They love you. They want to protect you. That is why they do what they do.

So what should I do? (Or the solution)

Every great business idea/goal/new venture is risky. That’s part of life. We can’t achieve new goals without some level of risk. However, we should not expect family support when taking a risk. The risk is our own. We need to own it, and face it alone.

If you have support from someone, then that is a blessing. If not, you need to go at it alone and be responsible.

One way to keep their hearts at ease is to have a backup plan. A job on the side, some savings, another source of income, a means of recovery. You will need these anyway. But showing your family that you have these is a great way to put their hearts at ease while you take the risks needed to pursue your grand ideas.

2. Your Friends

Depending on the kind of friends you hang out with. Telling your friends about your ideas could go one of two ways: support and sincere advice or full-on jealousy!

When I first started chasing higher goals, I found myself having to shift my friend circle completely. My friends were people without ambitions or goals, they wanted to stay that way. They felt threatened if anybody disturbed that natural order. So they would discourage me from chasing any goals that would move me higher in life.

So what did you do? (or the solution)

I got  a new friend circle. I stopped hanging out too much with people who put down my ideas, tell me I can’t achieve them or that I’m wasting time. Instead, I started hanging out with people who achieve great things themselves, and encourage me to do the same.

If you are facing a similar problem, you may want to consider changing the type of people you hang out with.

3. Yourself

The biggest obstacle any person faces when chasing a scary risky strange new goal is…himself!

Your brain will try to put you off your goal in so many ways. Your mind would flood with thoughts like the following:

“I’m not good enough!”

“Nobody would read anything I write!”

“I have no experience in this area.”

“I should just stick with what I know!”

If any of these thoughts are familiar, then relax. I deal with them myself all the time.

Why, brain, why?

These are natural thoughts as, just like our families, our brains are designed to protect us from harm. Your brain is just acting like an internal family member trying to put you off the scary task, so you don’t get hurt.

Your brain is not your enemy. It simply needs reprogramming. You need to train your brain to think positively. And you need to assure yourself that it will be fine.

You need to tell it: “There isn’t a lion chasing you, its just a deadline. No need to panic, just work hard and we got this, brain!”

Embracing Obstacles

There are many more obstacles in the way of your goal. This is the part of the game-changer. If you want to make a difference in the world. You need to embrace obstacles and use them as a platform for growth. Grow in your relationships. Grow in your thinking. And grow in your planning.

Obstacles are always going to be there. It is only those who push past them that achieve the most amazing goals. Face your obstacles, push through them and embrace the challenge. That is the only way forward!

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Posted by Ismail Kamdar in Goal Setting

9 Ways to maintain Self Discipline

Book on Self Discipline9 Ways to maintain Self Discipline

As mentioned throughout my book Getting The Barakah, time management requires firm self discipline. Here are some tips that can will assist you in maintaining the self discipline needed to stick to a schedule:

1. Keep reminders for every important thing.

Whether you have a notebook, Tablet, Smartphone, Diary or Desktop Planner. Utilize it to store reminders for everything that is important. Make it a habit to write down anything that is important in a place where you can remember it.

Whether it is a reminder to call your mechanic and make an appointment to tune up your car. Or a reminder that you have a class to teach at a certain time. Or a reminder to pay the bills on a certain date. Whatever it is, set a written reminder and you will be less likely to forget or overlook it.

2. Don’t mix creative and admin work.

A lot of modern day work involves thinking, creativity and planning. Many people make the mistake of trying to do this while doing admin work at the same time. This goes back to our point on multitasking (mentioned in the book), it is not productive to try and do both at the same time.

Creativity requires the brain to function in one manner. While admin work requires it to function quite differently. Trying to do both at the same time is not productive and can even cause a headache.

Schedule your creative tasks for separate times from your admin work. This way your mind can function in one manner and focus on the task at hand. If you are more creative in the mornings, then make that your creative time and leave your admin work for the afternoon. Likewise, if you are more creative in the afternoon or evening, schedule your time accordingly.

The point is to allow your mind to focus on the task at hand and in that manner, you will get more done faster.

3. Subconscious Level Thinking

The human mind operates on two levels. There is the conscious thinking which is what you are focusing on at the moment. However, while you are focusing on something, there are many things going on in the back of your mind that you are not aware of, this is known as the subconscious or unconscious part of the brain.

Recent studies have shown that many of our best ideas are stimulated in the subconscious level of the mind, as it never rests, even when we are sleeping. This is where the idea of “sleeping on it” comes from.

Very often when someone has a really complex problem to solve, they choose to sleep on it or do something fun. While doing so, the subconscious level of the mind continues working on the problem in a more relaxed manner and the solution is soon formed.

The next time you have a complex problem to solve or are searching for a great creative idea, instead of wasting time stressing over it, sleep on it and you might find the solution you were looking for.

Perhaps this is why some of our best ideas come to us while we are praying Salah, as we are relaxed and focused on Allah so our minds are also relaxed and our subconscious can dig deeper and discover new ideas. (That’s how the idea for this book came to me)

4. Rewarding yourself

In this world, not many people are going to stand in your corner, support your every idea and compliment your efforts. You often need to be your own cheerleader as you need motivation and encouragement to push on through difficult times.

One way to keep yourself motivated is to reward yourself for each small and large victory. This will give you a boost to continue working harder and succeeding. Small victories can be rewarded with small things, for examples you can reward yourself with a ten minute break and a cup of coffee for getting that report done in record time.

Bigger victories can be rewarded with a bigger reward. For example, a successful huge sale or completion of an important course can be rewarded with a night out for the family to your favourite Halal restaurant.

The point is to take care of yourself, and this will keep you motivated to keep rising to higher levels with each little victory.

5. Set a time limit for each task

Most of us can’t keep working at one task all day. We need breaks and limits. Furthermore, setting a time limit forces you to work faster and get things done in record time. If a task usually takes you two hours to do, set a time limit to do it in one hour, you will surprised by the fact that it will probably take you 45 minutes to do it with such a time limit. The general rule is to set a time limit to do a task in half the time it usually takes you to do it.

This is because when we have tight deadlines, our mind goes into overdrive in finding ways to get things done faster. Setting time limits and deadlines for all your tasks is a great way to discipline yourself to work faster and better.

6. Set a dollar value for your time

Time is money. This is a fact. Every moment wasted with mundane activities is a moment wasted that you can never get back. Many people overcome this by working out how much each minute of their day is worth in terms of dollars.

If you earn $2000 a month, each work day is worth $80 so each hour is worth $8. If you waste an hour, you have wasted $8. Of course, if you maximize that time, you can actually increase the value of your time, because productive people tend to earn more than unproductive people. And the more your time is worth, the less likely you are to waste it because you know what it is worth.

7. Avoid Perfectionism

I always wanted to be an author. I knew that it was what I was best at, but for many years I held back because I was not happy that my writings are not perfect. It was only when I let go of my desire for perfection that I was finally able to let my ideas flow and the writing happened.

Too often, we focus on perfection and end up wasting time trying to improve already high quality work to unrealistic standards. This does not mean we should do shoddy work. No, our focus should be on high quality results, not perfect results. Nothing in this world is perfect so striving for perfection is a self-defeating goal and will always leave you frustrated and miserable.

Focus on doing your best. You can always improve and learn from mistakes. But getting things done is far more important than worrying about the impossible.

8. Identify your peak times

Every person has a time of the day when he or she is at their best. Identify your peak time. For most people, it is early morning or late at night. Schedule your most important projects for that time. This will help you give maximum attention to that task and produce the highest quality product.

9. Focus on your most important task

Ask yourself each day what is the most important thing I need to get done today. Then get that done early and give it most of your attention. Do this and you will find time for everything else as well. Plus, you will feel better for having completed the most important tasks early.

Learn more self discipline and time management tips with Getting The Barakah

This article was extracted from Getting The Barakah: An Islamic Guide to Time Management. Available exclusively at Islamic Self Help.

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Posted by Ismail Kamdar in Time Management

Dealing with Setbacks: A Different Perspective

Dealing With SetbacksDealing with Setbacks: A Different Perspective

There are many ways of dealing with setbacks. But as Muslims, we have a unique approach that gives us strength and optimism, even when facing the biggest challenges.

And We will surely test you with something of fear, hunger and a loss of wealth, lives and fruits, but give glad tidings to the patient, those who, when disaster strikes them, say, “Indeed we belong to Allah, and indeed to Him we will return.”Those are the ones upon whom are blessings from their Lord and mercy. And it is those who are the rightly guided. (Surah Al-Baqarah 2:2:155-157)

It is not possible to live in this world and fulfill our goals without dealing with setbacks and obstacles along the way. This life is not perfect. And it is not possible to have everything we desire in it. Certain setbacks are unavoidable. We have no control over life and death, natural disasters, wars, crime or even the daily weather. This is something we have to learn to live with and accept as a part of life.

When you understand that the world is not perfect and that setbacks are inevitable, the next logical step is to prepare for any potential obstacles you will face in life. If you have a high goal, there is no doubt that you will face many obstacles on the way to achieving that goal. When we chase a worthy goal, we are first tested regarding how badly we want it before the opportunity to get it opens up.

A Different Perspective

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One way of dealing with setbacks is to restructure how you look at them. You can look at them as obstacles or as challenges. Challenges are meant to be tackled and overcome. They force us to grow, help us tap into our true potential and develop our strengths. Without challenges, we will never grow or gain the skills needed to accomplish our goals. As the English proverb goes, “Every dark cloud has a silver lining”.

Every difficulty that we face contains an opportunity, a chance to learn something new, to grow, to reach the next level of life. Stop looking at the obstacles and start looking through them at what you want to accomplish, and how overcoming this obstacle can help you accomplish it better.

Lessons From History

When Prophet Yusuf (peace be upon him) was thrown in a well by his brothers, it set off a chain of events including slavery, temptation and imprisonment that eventually ended in him becoming the ruler of Egypt. He needed to go through all those obstacles and challenges. Through which he learned many important things, before he became the ruler, a position in which he needed all those skills.

When Abu Salamah was martyred, his wife Umm Salamah was left devastated. She was now a widowed young mother with many kids, and had lost the most beloved man in her life. She began to pray to Allah to grant her someone better, while thinking to herself who could be better than Abu Salamah. Eventually, she received a proposal from Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) himself, and her prayers were answered. Her challenges, and the patience it built, helped prepare her for her new role as a Mother of the Believers.

Allah promised us in the Qur’an, “With hardship, there is Ease, definitely with hardship there is ease,” (Surah Ash-Sharh 94:5-6)

And the Prophet (peace be upon him) explained, “One hardship cannot overcome two eases,” (Fath Al-Qadeer, p. 1918) meaning that for every challenge we face in life, there is double the amount of good in that situation.

Every difficult situation we face is surrounded by many blessings, followed by many blessings and contains many lessons and blessings. It’s a gift from Allah wrapped up in a layer of hardship. Beneath that hardship is beauty. So much of it that you will thank Allah later for sending those challenges your way.

This is, without a doubt, a guarantee from Allah. When he puts you in a situation of difficulty to test you, you will experience ease as well.

Ease During Difficulty

For example, When the Prophet (peace be upon him) was facing great trials in Makkah, Allah had granted him the companionship of his beloved wife Khadijah and his uncle Abu Talib. They were there to make the test easy for him. And they supported him financially and emotionally, and Abu Talib’s influence kept his enemies from physically harming him. So they were an ease during a difficult time.

When migrating to Madinah and hiding in a cave. Allah assisted the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) by veiling him from the eyes of his enemies and keeping Abu Bakr in his company. Providing him with this ease during his difficult journey.

You might find this happening in your own life, perhaps you are going through a period of unemployment. Allah helps you in many ways during this time. Perhaps by someone helping you out financially, or reducing your financial responsibilities, or by sending some good people into your life to offer you a new job or opportunity. Allah’s help comes in amazing ways that we do not understand.

Allah makes a way out

“Whoever is conscious of Allah, He will make for him a way out, and provide for him from where he never imagined. And whoever puts their trust in Allah, He is Sufficient for him,” (Surah At-Talaaq 65:2-3)

Whichever way you look at it, hardships and setbacks are challenges which contain blessings and are necessary for our growth. After overcoming a challenge, you will feel stronger, more confident and closer to Allah. In that way, challenges are necessary for building our self-confidence. When dealing with setbacks in this way, they become a blessing instead.

This is an extract from the eBook Best Of Creation: An Islamic Guide to Self-Confidence, available exclusively at Islamic Self Help.

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Posted by Ismail Kamdar in Self Confidence